128. Setting Boundaries
In the last blog, we talked about the property lines needed for boundaries. Having property lines creates safety for you personally. Setting boundaries involves taking responsibility and facing the consequences for the choices you have made. You can simply and clearly tell others how close, near, or how far you want them in your daily life. Let's discuss with examples how you can maintain safety within the boundaries you create.
What's within your boundaries? Feelings are one of the most important things you need to create boundaries for. When you take full charge of your own feelings this will likely create reactions in others. Feelings come from your heart and tell you about the state of your relationship with yourself and others. Your feelings are your responsibility. It is best to own them and find support to manage them as they are speaking truth about where you are and where you are heading.
Attitudes and beliefs, also need to be owned by you. Their effects need to be recognized. You are the only one who can change them. Proverbs 13:18, 24 state "poverty and shame will come to him who disdains correction, but he who regards a rebuke will be honored... He who spares a rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly."
Behaviors have consequences. If you exercise regularly, your reward is good health. When you overeat, your consequence then is extra weight. Abusers or addicts will face natural consequences of their behaviors. Examples are countless. You need to take responsibility of the choices you make. You are in control of them. Setting boundaries is about taking control of your own choices as you model the same to others.
Values are about what you think is important to you. It's important to take full ownership of them. If the values you hold are hurting you and those you love, you can ask God to change them and He will.
Limits or standards are the next point. You can set your own. It's important for you to set limits on others, as this protects you and gives you time to define your own limits.
Your talents and thoughts are fully yours. It's important for you to own them and take full responsibility for them. Using your talents takes work as you exercise the gifts God gave you. Regarding thoughts, you need to own your own and learn as you grow in knowledge. Any wrong, bent thinking can lead you and others astray.
Desires and love are the two final points. Regarding desires, you and I want to satisfy "me."
You and I are commanded by God to seek the right desires, for "a desire accomplished is sweet to the soul" Prov. 13:19.
Your ability to love is the final point. It is God's greatest gift to love yourself and others. Without love, your life will seem empty and meaningless. The Bible states "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind... Love your neighbor as yourself" Matt. 22:37, 39. Also, many people lack understanding of their own loneliness. This is due to their lack of understanding of the love all around them.
More on boundaries in the next blog. Blessings, warrior!