81. Mix-matched Relationships and the Power of Harmony
Harmony. When I inquired about Melanie's life at home, she burst out crying. She heard she was accepted with whatever came forward in the counselling session. When she regained her composure she flatly stated of her husband was a nonbeliever. He was addicted to pornography and wanted her to perform regularly. This life style had gone on for years. Melanie loved her husband, their beautiful children and her life in general. He was tired of her beliefs. Sick and tired of it. Pride had entered into his life. Material gain,comfort,control, possessions and pornography replaced his love for his wife.
Have you ever noticed that the easiest place to be self-centered and let your guard off is at home? You are expected to be polite and cordial at work and can never act the way you do at home. On your bad days the ones you love the most often see the ugliest side of you. James 3:16 states "for where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work." Melanie lived through it. It certainly takes two to create conflict. The couple was unequally yolked. Strife was a regular occurrence in Melanie's life. Recently, fear was added to it.
Strife minimizes the protection faith provides. It stops the answers to prayers. Fear is the opposite of love. Melanie feared. Fear gives an open door for the enemy to enter in.
Melanie was validated and encouraged to focus on the Savior, which then increased her resilience. She chose to believe it was important for her to continue to allow her husband to be the most important person in her life and to avoid focusing on his unbelief. Melanie's Christian values and beliefs were acknowledged and honored, as were her sharing of it with her children. The concept of a healthy relationship meant for her to learn about boundaries and to become accountable as she modeled the learned behavior to all of her family. Those boundaries were for her protection in her marriage and in her life. They defined her being.
As Melanie increased her confidence, learned and implemented boundaries and became accountable to herself, her life took a positive change. Melanie was able to model her beliefs with her new, stronger self. She needed support to change. You can too. Help is there when you need it. Help is there when you choose to accept it.
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