54. Where is the truth? Moving into God's Light Through Grief and Trauma
One of the most devaluing, minimizing comments you may hear when trauma or grief suddenly comes to your life is that it's going to be okay. Really??? Or after a while to hear just to 'get over it!!!' Or after someone's passing that they are in a better place(!!!) Hurtful and thoughtless cannot even begin to describe how you might feel about those comments. You are expected to recover after a time period. Yet the scars are still there; unseen and unspoken. You may feel minimized, judged, and labeled. Feeling the intense emotions that will be in you and expressing themselves through is the confusing time you are facing now.
The reality of where you are is that the morning will still come, the sun will rise like any other day and the seasons will change. Everything on the outside will be just like it usually is. You will be different. It's like you see the world with different eyes. Stunned, withdrawn/ reactive or solemn, crying or fluctuating between crying and screaming. Or maybe, just maybe blocking the whole thing or pretending it never happened.
Your emotions suffered severe damage. It is much like someone drove a train over you. It's crucially important to acknowledge the hurt! The challenge when you are finally ready is to pick up those pieces of yours and to live another hour, day ... Been there and its hellish.
Christian singer Don Moen, in one of his songs, sang "God will make a way when there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me... He will make a way." God allows you to go into and experience the storm. He rides the storm with you and gives you the strength to go through the obstacles. Through Him you can!
Denial of what happened peeks it ugly head at first. Anger then bursts through; why, why, why did it have to happen??? Bargaining with the reality comes next. Replaying the whole event more times that you care to admit is also a part of grieving. You will never forget.
Depression then raises it ugly head. You might continue to ride the see-saw between all kinds of emotions. It's normal and you are not crazy. Allow yourself to lean on someone trusted or a Counsellor who understands your confusion and will listen and support you.
Acceptance is the last part. Whatever hell you went through you survived; wounded, weak and tired. Yet you survived and built much resilience and persistence in your healing journey. That's the warrior spirit in you! God will make a way when there seems to be no way. Blessings, warrior!
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