33. Don't Shoot the Wounded, Some Day You Might be One

At a the tender age of 12 I received a phone call from my older half-sister who ordered me to sit down. She told me our oldest half-sister died. The half-sister who passed away was a 24 year drug-addicted prostitute living in Germany. Due to the deep brokenness within the family I returned home, unsupported and alone, from a camp I was in to a complete lack of communication of my sister (!). My father disowned her as his daughter due to her lifestyle and refused to attend her funeral. I took another train across the country to see my other half-siblings and their mother, with my hidden money, to her funeral. At age 12 years, I was lonely, confused, scared and so alone. I returned to silence; not a word was spoken of the reason for my trip across the country. She was blamed for her life and I was blamed for accepting and loving her.

My sister's life style allowed her to be judged and disowned by my father, who was a Pastor. I was also rejected later as I did not follow his judgmental beliefs. I knew at that age there were more hurts in my sister I could ever fathom. As an adult I also realized, more fully, just how many hurts were within my father's history. He was a WWII veteran raised by abusive foster family and left to raise himself and his siblings. His deep wounding lived on as he then hurt others. Wounded people wound people. Help and awareness is needed.

Where does generational abuse stop? It can start with you! You can simply choose to be aware of where the hurts take you to, and take responsibility for your behavior that came out of it. The word responsibility can be a painful word to take on! The choice requires you to be intentional and motivated, to become aware of your own actions and be responsible for your hurt behavior. Your own actions will likely have caused pain and suffering to others. It is easy to live out from your past experiences. It is difficult to choose and then live out your accountability! Self-compassion is needed.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 states "...My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness ... for when I am weak, then I am strong." What this personally meant is I could go forward knowing I was weak and lean on the Lord while tempted to hurt others out of my own hurts. I could turn my hurts in prayer and share my strength with others in need.

1 Corinthians 1:27-28 "But God has chose the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God had chosen the weak things in this world to put to shame the things which are mighty;" This verse spoke of the strength to overcome is through the Father.

What about you? Does Jesus have authority in your life? Do you need to create your direction or can you trust Him in the process? Is Jesus always who you think He is? Do you trust Him regardless of your hurts? Also, did you expect that the devil would just let you go and live a good life without a fight? You're the Fathers' creation after all.

If you recognize yourself as a person who has hurt others out of your hurts, you're in a right place. Your storm is a sign that grace is well on its way. It's crucial to deal with your own hurts in order to avoid hurting others, for hurts live on through generations without healing. Storms may also be a sign of your faith being tested by the Lord. Trust and faith are vital!

Please connect through the main website if you need to begin the process. Be blessed, mighty warrior! The Father will give you strength when you pray for it!