27. Letting go; are you going or growing through it all?

Letting go. There simply is an awful feeling to it. Perhaps it was about letting go of someone you cared about and there was time to reflect on what occurred. It could have been sudden; and argument or an aggressive or even a violent encounter. Perhaps it was an accident. Either way it plain hurts. Hurts to the core of your being. Sometimes the act of physically letting go produces feelings of relief. Other times the feelings are that of despair. What remains crucial to yourself and your inner wellness is how you go through it all. This is where you can choose to go or grow through the experience.

My husband was asked to move out years ago. Police, Lawyer, Doctors and other specialists were informed and involved. That began the largest challenge of my life. Christians, I then believed, will never divorce and marriages last until death do us part. Having immigrated there was no family network to turn to. I faced a combination of massive self-doubt, isolation and loneliness. The pain of the past injury was present. Going through each day was a challenge, a very painful one. Quilt, shame, rejection and ongoing self-doubt were the negative feelings that surfaced. I faced the utter devastation of having to re-build my life after a long-term marriage. Without a partner.

The choice of letting go that allows you, me - and all of us to survive any tragedy is to choose to focus on how it can allow you to grow through it. Just going through letting go can bring in anger and resentment where bitterness grows. Growing through it allows you to choose focus on the parts that shaped you to become the individual God has desired you to be. Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." There is a purpose to your existence.

The process of living up to the purpose is never easy. Regarding the story I shared, what produced most growth in me was letting go of pride. When pride left, new understanding and acceptance developed. When I asked the Lord to heal my broken heart, He truly did, does and is continuing to do so. New understanding and compassion developed out of this past pain. He stated in Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." The Lord is with me, in me and works through me. This revelation came after going through the fire explained.

Many of us have survived the fire and need support to understand and to heal. If you would like to share your pain with someone in confidence, you can go to the introduction blog and connect through Skype for personal counselling. Blessing, you beautiful bride of Christ!