When you don't know what to say or do...

This blog is about being intimidated by someone. It is a summarized sequel to my writings on emotional abuse and using boundaries. Have you had occasions when you feel intimidated?

First of, all when you are being bullied or have that uncomfortable feeling in your heart, recognize it and do not ignore it. Deal with it as it occurs as this response allows the person to recognize the affect their behavior has on you. The bullying will certainly escalate if you maintain the conversation without recognizing the behavior. Recognize and be proactive! Being proactive enables you to model how you want to be treated now and in the future.

Use 'I' statements when you are nervous. "I" statements stop accusations from surfacing and stops the blaming behavior within us all. For example; "I feel uncomfortable when you close your fists and raise your voice" and "I feel anxious and upset as a result. Can we sit down and talk about it?" Use a calm tone of voice, as your calmness invites the same behavior from the bully as well. Well worth learning this life skill for effective conversation. This action of speaking out allows you to be proactive and responsible in a Godly fashion. It also enables you to use respect for yourself.

Create a personal boundary of distance within arms length, and ask for to be respected. Show this behavior by your own actions as well. Remember - when you choose a response, that honors your personal boundaries, it is self-respect and awareness that motivates it. Worthy goal to achieve!

Please re-read the previous blogs on boundaries and make an effort to create them for yourself. They are your property line. When you set high standards for yourself, others are likely to follow suit as well.

The boundaries you have created need to be maintained in a healthy way. Others will be drawn to you when you honor your limits. You're simply demonstrating acts of self-respect. A worthy goal to achieve for all of us.

Start at first by planning 'baby steps' for your boundaries. For example, plan and define limits for yourself that you have modeled to others by your own behavior. Recognize each step toward success. When you develop healthy boundaries for yourself, coercive, manipulative or narcissistic behavior will be ceased and recognized for what it is. Again, you will feel good and NOT guilty.

Maintaining healthy boundaries is a dignified, mature act on your part. It honors God and it honors you as His creation!

If you have any questions or would like to talk I'm here to answer questions or concerns.